


Rey x Reader: Heartbreak

by my_morning_straightjacket



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: F/F, Rey x Fem! Reader, Rey x Female Reader - Freeform, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker - Freeform, rey x reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-04-12
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:48:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23608618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_morning_straightjacket/pseuds/my_morning_straightjacket
Summary: As Rey learns the nature of who she really is, you feel her drifting away from you, forcing you to make a decision that goes against every fiber of your being...
Relationships: Rey x Fem!Reader, rey x reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 45





	Rey x Reader: Heartbreak

It’s you. It’s always been you when it comes to Rey. The woman adores you - simply ADORES you. You have never met anyone like Rey and you are sure that she hasn’t met anyone like you either because if she had, you two wouldn’t be together. You love Rey with all your heart and she loves you just the same. Meeting each other came simply as a coincidence - it really did. You were out scavenging and decided to pull into the market early since you had a good haul and didn’t want to over-encumber yourself when the day ended. You traded in your scrap and received a full portion of your efforts. The jealousy and envy on the fellow scavenger's faces behind you were excessive and protracted but you didn’t pay them any mind.

You were on your way out when you heard Unkar Plutt announce, “one-quarter portion” to a scavenger. You stilled and twisted your neck so you could glance behind you. Your eyes met a girl, no older than sixteen in sand-coloured rags with brown hair, gloomily take the portion and turn. Her eyes were hooded and her eyes were hard but you could see past them - disappointment, enervation, and perhaps sorrow repleted them. You hadn’t seen eyes like hers before and the mere sight tugged on your heart - a feeling you seldom felt since Jakku was not a place for _feeling_ things other than the natural instinct of survival. However, this girl, this stranger, this fellow scavenger challenged that. At the time, you weren’t sure where it came from but you followed the girl and spoke to her.

She looked at you shocked and perhaps cautiously but you offered her some of your portion. At first, she was skeptical and questioned you but you told her that one-quarter portion wasn’t enough to feed her properly and you had plenty to share. The gesture was an odd one, especially on such a desolate and egocentric planet and you honestly did not expect her to accept your portion. However, you eventually persuaded her to take it with the agreeance that you would eat together. Later that evening, the girl invited you to her home - an old AT-AT from the Galactic Civil War. She cooked and you ate together.

“I’m Rey,” said the girl and you reciprocated the introduction where, for the first time, she smiled at you and you smiled back.

From that day on, you and Rey were inseparable and it didn’t take long for the two of you to fall in love. Rey was different. She was special and it had been such a journey to watch her grow into the person she was today. Howbeit, she has changed from that simple and somewhat nonchalant and even _jubilant_ time. Now, you are at the brink of war with the First Order as you have been for quite some time. You and Rey are members of the Resistance and it has been a journey and a half and it certainly trumps scavenging on Jakku, despite you missing that carefree life. Unfortunately, you feel yourself getting further away from Rey. You feel this _distance_ between you two and it has only been getting stronger over the past year.

You’re not exactly sure what it is but it’s there and it’s real. Rey is still stepping into who she is whilst also trying to discover _who_ she is - a question that has pondered her mind since her existence and a question you have done your utmost to assist her with but to no avail. You and Rey spend little time together since the preponderance of her time is utilised by training, meditating, or on missions, missions that have now (sadly) become the time where you see and spend together the most. Your relationship is not what it used to be and you reflect your time on Jakku almost _wistfully_. Wistful because you start to question whether or not you should have left and, more importantly, whether or not you should have convinced Rey to return to Jakku so you could continue your simplistic lives. You may not have lived as long but at least you would have been happy.

You love Rey with as much as your heart will let you, which is why it comes with a _heavy_ heart that you have decided to approach her in your shared quarters. She has come back late yet again after nighttime training and is preparing for bed. She removes her shoes and begins to free her arms from the wraps encircling them.

“Rey,” you speak. “We need to talk.”

“What about?” Her voice is monotone and she doesn’t make the effort to meet your gaze - something _else_ that has changed between you two.

“Us,”

Her eyes lock onto yours and you swallow nervously.

“What about us?”

“I… I feel different.”

“How do you mean?”

“I feel as if we’re drifting away from each other. I feel like… I hardly know you now.”

“What?” She frowns, abandoning her unwrapping and turning to you fully. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that you’ve changed. You’re not the same girl I met on Jakku.”

“Neither are you.”

“I don’t mean it like _that_. Yes, we have changed but you’ve _really_ changed and it’s putting distance between us. I’ve supported you in your journey of self-discovery and I always will but… I believe that there is only so much I can help you with. You’ve come so far but you still have so far to go but… I don’t think I can go as far as you can.”

“What do you mean?” Her voice is firmer but you know she’s not angry with you, if anything, she sounds afraid.

“I mean…” You pause because this is that part that you never thought you would speak but you have to - you NEED to. “I mean it’s time for us to re-evaluate where we’re headed and where _you’re_ headed.”

Rey pauses, her eyes studying you carefully and intently. “Are… are you breaking up with me?”

You and Rey have been together for years and you never thought you’d see your life without her. You’ve endured and accomplished so much together and that has made you stronger as a couple, which is why this is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do.

“I’m doing this for you,” you state.

Tears automatically well in Rey’s eyes, causing her to turn from you. Your instinct tells you to engulf her in your arms but you stop yourself because you feel it would be contradictory to do so but you can’t help but feel cruel in the process.

“How is this for me?” She probes, her back to you.

“Because we’re drifting apart, Rey. You can’t tell me you don’t feel it, too.”

“I know that we don’t spend as much time together as we used to but that’s no fault of our own. There’s a lot going on, which means that there is less time for us to be together as we want but that doesn’t mean you have to break up with me.”

“I’m not strictly breaking up with you. It’s merely a break until you find what you’ve been looking for all this time.”

“What if I never do?”

“You will. I know you will.”

“I can’t do it without you. I’ve come this far because of you. Without you, I’ll be stuck.”

She sniffs and you feel your heart crack but you force yourself to stay strong.

“I love you, Rey. I always have and I always will and I’m so proud of how far you’ve come but I can’t do this anymore. You’ve changed and with every day that passes, more space between us is created.”

Rey shakes her head as she lifts a hand to wipe her tears. “Don’t do this,” she finally turns to you, revealing her red, puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks. “Please.”

Everything in you tells you to call it off but you can’t. You’re doing this for Rey and for yourself but more so for her. As much as her tears crush you, you need to remain strong.

“I’m sorry, honey. I’m sorry for hurting you but this is for the best.”

“How? How is this for the best?”

“It just is. I know you don’t see it and you might not but it is.”

“Don’t go,” she begs.

“Rey, please,” it’s now _your_ time to beg because you honestly can’t stand here for much longer watching tears escape her eyes and lip wobble.

“Don’t,”

You close your eyes briefly before stepping forward, gently placing your hands on her face, pulling it down, and kissing her forehead. She doesn’t pull away and allows you to keep hold of her face when you move it so your eyes meet. You instinctively brush her tears away with the pads of your thumbs and try not to cry yourself at the sight of her tears.

“I love you, Rey, and I’ll always be here for you. I promise but this is part of the journey where I can’t help you.”

“D, don’t…”

You can see she is on the verge of breaking down but you place a tender kiss on her lips to prevent it and thankfully, it works. You step back and nod, turning on your heel and leaving. When you go, Rey bursts into tears, falling onto your shared bed and wailing into the pillow. You wish you didn’t have such a strong force connection with her since you can feel all of her sorrow and heartache. You feel everything she feels and it’s times like these you wish your connection with her wasn’t so strong but you have come together as one many times - your souls have been one so many times - so nothing escapes either of you. You push forward, wiping the tears from your face and reminding yourself that it IS all for the best, no matter how heartbreaking…

~

The abrupt noise of the _Falcon_ on the landing pad startles you but not as much as the sight of Rey practically bolting out of it. Finn calls out after her but she doesn’t stop so you instinctively step in.

“Rey,” you try to get her to stop but she pushes past you, avoiding eye contact.

Confused, you turn to Poe who is telling the mechanics what needs repairing on the Falcon and he looks agitated so you deduce that Finn is the safest person to talk to.

“Finn,” you approach him. “What’s wrong with Rey?”

“It’s… it’s Chewie.”

“Chewie? What about him?”

“He… he’s gone.”

Your heart sinks. “G, gone?”

“Yeah,” he nods desolately.

“How? What happened?”

“It was an accident… Rey… she… she…”

“She electrocuted the carrier that he was in, blowing it out of the sky,” Poe finished.

“It was an accident!” Finn defended.

“As far as we know.”

“Do you really think she’d do it on purpose? She had no idea what that was! She was devastated and still is!”

“Wait, hold on,” you interject. “What do you mean by electrocuted?”

“She shot lighting out of her fingers. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

Your blood runs cold and you get an overwhelming sensation of dread within you.

“What’s going on with Rey anyway?” Poe questions. “She’s been acting so differently over the past week.”

“Yeah, I know. Every time I try to talk to her, she shuts me out. She’s pushing me away. She’s so reserved and… _different_ ,” Finn adds.

“Yeah, um…” You clear your throat and scratch the back of your neck.

Finn and Poe turn to you with quizzical looks.

“What did you do?” Poe probes.

“I, ah… um… I kinda… I kinda told her that we should take a break…”

“YOU BROKE UP WITH HER?”

“Shh!” You hiss. “Keep your voice down!”

“What is wrong with you?”

“Did you really do that? Why?”

“Okay, first off, guys, calm down. Secondly, I didn’t break up with her. We’re simply on a break that’s all.”

“Yeah, a break that has broken her heart and made her lash out every five minutes!” Poe glares at you but you’re not intimidated or phased.

“Why did you do that?” Finn asks.

You sigh and quickly explain to them how you feel and how you believe taking a break is the best thing for Rey. They have trouble digesting the information but they trust your judgment despite Rey’s resulting behaviour.

“I think you should go and talk to her,” Finn encourages.

“No,” you shake your head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. We haven’t spoken since we…” You can’t bring yourself to say it, even though it’s just a break, it’s still painful. “She wouldn’t want to see me and I if I DO see her, it’ll only make things worse.”

“Hey,” Finn puts his hand on your shoulder and looks at you kindly. “No matter what happened between you two, you still care about each other and Rey needs someone right now. She’s pushed me away and Poe, too. The only person who can communicate with her properly is you.”

“But we’re-”

“I know you’re on a break but she still needs you. You said it yourself that you were still going to be there for her so be there for her.”

Finn has always been good with words so you take on board what he says and nod. He smiles at you, giving you a pat on the shoulder before he helps Poe. Taking a breath, you make your way to Rey’s quarters, your heart hammering in your chest the entire time. The last time you felt this nervous approaching Rey was when you first met on Jakku. At the time, you tried to think of why you got so nervous but looking back on it (and having time to think about it), you know it was because you found her intimidating in the best possible way but this time, it’s different. You’re nervous because you have no idea how she is going to react but Finn is right - you said that you were going to be there for her so you need to live up to your words.

You eventually reach Rey’s quarters and knock on her door.

“Go away,” she orders and by her tone, you can tell she’s upset.

“Rey, it’s me,” you speak.

There’s a silence and you hear the door unlock. You take another breath then step inside and see Rey sitting on the edge of her bed in tears. Your heart never fully mended when you broke things off with Rey the week prior but it cracks a little more at the sight of her tears.

“Finn told me about Chewie,” you begin, shutting the door and walking to her.

“I had no idea what happened…” she utters, toying with her fingers and avoiding your gaze. “I… I was trying to pull the ship back but Ren pulled against me…. I was so angry and I tried so hard to get the ship on the ground but then I felt this… this… energy inside me… An energy that I’ve never felt before… It raced through me and… lightning shot out of my fingers…” She runs her thumb over the tips of her fingers shakily. “I… I killed him… I killed everyone aboard…”

“Hey,” you sit next to her, putting a hand on her back. “It was an accident.”

“Was it?” She looks at you, teary-eyed. “I had no idea where that came from. I… I felt so powerful… it… it scared me…”

You can see the fear in Rey’s eyes and guilt quickly consumes you. In your mind, if it weren’t for you, Rey wouldn’t have gotten so overwhelmed with her emotions and Chewie would still be alive. Such an invaluable member of the Resistance is now gone and you feel that it’s your fault.

“I’m a monster…” she whimpers, looking back at her hands.

“No,” you repudiate. “You are FAR from a monster, Rey.”

“Then what am I?” She peers up at you with vulnerability, desperate for reassurance and closure.

You pull her into your arms, causing her to wrap hers around you.

“You’re a fighter,” you answer. “And an amazing one at that.”

Rey sinks into your hold and sobs into your chest. You tighten your grip around her and comfort her the best you can and you are glad that Finn convinced you to come here because this is _exactly_ what Rey needs.

~

It’s probably the best rescue mission you’ve ever been a part of. Chewbacca is alive. Rey felt it. You felt it. You rescued him when you, Rey, Finn, and Poe went to save him while also infiltrating Kylo Ren’s Star Destroyer on Kijimi. After almost getting executed in the process of your rescue mission, you make it out alive and head back to your base to celebrate Chewbacca’s return before you set out to Kef Bir to find the second wavefinder. The base throws a party, which seems to be what everyone needs to unwind from the constant stress of the battle with the First Order.

You approach the bar to get a drink and relax, watching your peers around you have fun and for a moment, you forget that you are ever at war. You forget that now is probably the worst time to celebrate but you don’t fret about that. Everyone in the Resistance has been through a lot so now is actually probably the BEST time to have a party. Everyone needs to blow off steam and forget about the troubles that surround them. Tomorrow will be another day where you will get back to work but tonight is for fun so you leave it at that.

“What are you doing sitting here by yourself?” You ask Rey once you spot her alone.

“Just thinking…” She mutters, fiddling with her empty cup.

You’re pulled out of your fun-filled moment because you know exactly what Rey is thinking. You could feel something was weighing her down ever since you got back from your mission and you know exactly what it is. So, you perch yourself next to her, resting your hand on her knee.

“You’re not him,” you say.

“I am,” she nods. “Shooting lighting out of my fingers is exact proof of that.”

“Rey,”

“No, don’t. It is what it is. I… I’m… I’m a Palpatine. I’m connected to the man who killed millions of innocent people and whose desire was to take over the galaxy in pure evil, blanketing it in total darkness.”

“Rey, look at me,” you order.

Rey hesitates but she does.

“It doesn’t matter who you’re biologically related to, you are who you are and I know you. You are kind, caring, strong-willed, passionate, loving, and GOOD. Above all things, Rey, you are GOOD and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Just because Palpatine is your grandfather doesn’t change who you are. If his blood running through your veins would impact you so much then you would be a completely different person. It’s not until now - having the knowledge that you are his granddaughter - that you’re starting to doubt yourself. Don’t let that control you. It’s what he would want.”

“But how do I NOT let it control me? I don’t want this. I don’t want to be a Palpatine.”

“Look… I know it’s hard and I know you don’t want this but you have done amazingly well by yourself being who you are. You never knew who you were until now and look at you - you’re one of the most invaluable members of the Resistance and you’re special. Just because you’re a Palpatine, doesn’t mean you have to follow in his footsteps. Luke didn’t follow in his father’s. Well, not in Darth Vader’s footsteps but in Anakin’s he did. Set your own path, Rey. Change the Palpatine name to something good. Your parents were good and you’re good and that outweighs the evil and destruction that Palpatine had ever caused.”

“He’s still alive,” she says. “I can feel it… I’ve always felt it but now that I know what it is… Part of me wishes that I never found out who I really was. I’d much prefer to have my identity nag at me than for me to actually know. Sometimes I lay awake at night thinking back to our time on Jakku… I miss it so much…”

“Me, too,” you nod and Rey looks at you.

“You do?”

“Yes. Every day.”

“Would you go back? Would you choose to stay instead of getting on the Falcon? Would you prefer to have kept living on Jakku scavenging?”

It still amazes you juts how connected you and Rey really are. It’s also reassuring knowing that she thinks about Jakku as you do.

“I often think about that. I think about it probably more than I should. Life on Jakku was simple and sure, it could get tedious at times but it’s what we did to survive and we did it _together_ , which made it so much easier and fun. We had each other. There was only us on Jakku. We didn’t have to worry about anything else but each other and we always knew that we had each other’s backs no matter what… It was nice.”

“It was.”

“But… being here now… I wouldn’t change it. We’re doing something for the greater good and if we didn’t get on the Falcon, we probably wouldn’t be alive anyway. The First Order would have found us, tortured us for answers, then killed us. Life isn’t any easier being in the Resistance but we’re a part of something much bigger than we ever could have thought and I’ve finally found my purpose.”

Rey smiles at you softly, then puts her hand on top of yours. “You always know just what to say. You always have.”

“When you’re with someone for years, you learn a few things,” you wink, making Rey giggle - a sound that you have missed so. “Come on,” you stand and offer your hand to her.

“What?”

“Dance with me.”

“Dance?”

“Yes. It’s a party and I’ll be damned if you sit here all night pondering and who knows when we’ll have another celebration like this so let’s make the most of it while we can. You can ponder later.”

A broad smile sweeps across Rey’s face as she takes your hand. You guide her up and lead her to where the band is playing, pull her to you, and start dancing. It doesn’t take long for Rey to loosen up. She loves dancing and being a complete and utter goofball with you. She’s always said that you’re the better dancer out of the two of you but you don’t think Rey gives herself enough credit. You can’t remember the last time you had fun like this. You miss this with Rey. You miss seeing her smile, laugh, and enjoy herself. It’s so blissful that you could live in it forever. You feel so carefree and so does Rey. You can see it and _feel_ it. The force connection between you two has been rather harsh and bleak lately so the current change is nice even if it is only for a brief period of time.

Rey falls into your arms in a fit of giggles after you’ve been dancing for about ten minutes or so. You’re not really sure since you were too busy living in the moment but all you know is that you are a little out of breath and you have accomplished what you set out to do - getting Rey to have fun.

“Don’t ever tell me that you can’t dance,” you breathe.

“I only follow what you do.”

“Well, you make what I do look a thousand times better. You’re a good dancer.”

“Only because you are.” Rey peers up at you and that’s when you realise just how close to one another you really are.

Rey scans your face and you watch her eyes attentively. You know what she’s thinking and you can feel that _pull_ to her; that pull that you have always failed to resist in times like these. She briefly runs her tongue over her bottom lip before sinking her teeth into it, staring at your lips the entire time. You know what she wants and you want it, too but you can’t. Rey has come so far since your break and you don’t want to ruin that for her. So, you take her hands, raise them to your lips, and kiss them daintily.

“Thank you for the dance,” you say. “You keep having a good night. I’m going to retire for the evening.”

“So early?” She questions, nearly in the form of a whine.

“It’s actually pretty late and I’ve got an early start tomorrow. You and I both know that I don’t work well when I’m tired.”

Rey looks at you pleadingly but you don’t give in. You rub her hands then let them go, stepping to the side and making your way towards your quarters. You hate to leave Rey but it’s for the best. You really do have an early start tomorrow and you’ve had your fun at the party. If you and Rey were together, you would have stayed or convinced Rey to retire _with_ you but it’s not like that anymore. You know it won’t always be like this but in the meantime, things will be difficult so you have to do your best to remain strong.

You remove your shoes and prepare to bathe once you reach your quarters. It’s been a long day so you’re looking forward to getting clean, curling up in bed, and falling asleep. Tomorrow, you plan to travel to Kef Bir - an ocean moon planet that holds part of the wreckage from the second Death Star - and you know that will be an adventure. You just hope that it’s not dangerous but there hasn’t been a mission that you’ve been on that’s been “safe”. You’re going to find the second wavefinder so you hope that it won’t be too difficult.

When you’re about to strip down, there’s a knock on your door. Curious, you turn to the noise but when you do, you feel it. The pull. It’s Rey. You know it is. You really should ignore it and bathe. If you ignore it, Rey will leave but the conflict inside you takes over, bringing you to open the door. Rey stands in front of you mutely but you don’t speak. You watch her watching you and you fill the air thicken with tension until Rey lunges at you, cupping your face and kissing you. You grasp at her waist, pulling her into you and stepping backward, kicking the door shut as you gravitate to the middle of the room.

Your kisses are hard yet passionate and you’re in that state for a good minute or so until you pull away where you and Rey intuitively begin disrobing each other. Rey’s eyes are dark and hungry - filled with concupiscence, need, and want. She strips you down as if your clothes are on fire then stares at you once there is nothing left. You do the same, drinking in every curve and crevice of her anatomy before tugging her forward so your lips meet. Rey presses her body against yours, holding your face so your lips don’t part. You wrap your arms around her, holding her before grabbing her legs and hoisting her onto your hips, allowing you to carry her to the bed. She coils her legs around you, keeping her lips sewn on yours as you lay her down beneath you.

You kiss her lips ardently, which is followed by her body that you never seem to get enough of. The music of the party is still playing and it is only faint but it takes away some of the white noise in the room. However, the music is soon drowned out with music of your own created by Rey and yourself in the midst of your lovemaking. It feels like years that you haven’t been intimate with Rey. Your relationship does not comprise an abundance of sexual intimacy but it’s still a part of it. You don’t need to be so intimate all the time to maintain a strong relationship. When you ever are intimate, it is special and it truly means something. You exchange so many thoughts and feelings without saying a single word. You trust each other fully to the point where you give yourselves to one another with an open heart.

You are the only one who can touch and care for Rey like this and she is the only one who can touch and care for you like this. The two of you share something so special and so _strong_ that it cannot be broken by anyone or anything. Every time you are intimate, you grow stronger. Going on missions together, communicating, working together, and other activities makes your bond exceedingly tenacious also. Nobody else has the bond with Rey that you have and vice versa. You know Rey down to the last detail and she knows you. You know so much about each other and that is only possible to achieve by being as devoted and loyal to another as you two have been.

The feel of Rey’s skin against your own, the holding of each other’s hands, the kissing, the fondling, the elongated and intense eye contact reinforces how much you’ve missed her. Rey touches you as much as she can and you try your utmost to requite but it proves difficult since you are solely focused on pleasing Rey but you know she loves it when you fondle her and touch her as if she’s the most precious thing in the entire galaxy and to you, she is. You take in everything about Rey because moments like these are exiguous but so, so precious. You attempt to cram so much affection, love, attentiveness, and care into your lovemaking that you know won’t last much longer.

You know Rey loves the intimacy of sex and how special it makes her feel as do you so you try to make it about her because it really IS about her and you feel like you’ve achieved it when her limbs encircle you and clamp around your body and that’s when you feel it - the ultimate pull towards Rey where you unite as one - one body, one soul, one mind, one heart, one life; you are one. You hold onto Rey and she holds onto you as you unite and you collapse on top of her when it’s over, so tired but so _strong_ with Rey. Rey runs her hands through your hair, her dexterous fingers entangling in your thick locks. Your breathing is laboured but it harmonises with Rey’s and you soon settle, resting upon her chest, feeling your weariness encroach and you know you are mere seconds away from letting it claim you.

“I love you,” Rey whispers and you find the strength to lift your head and kiss her.

“I love you, too.”

“I missed you.”

“I missed you, too.” You share another kiss before you return your head to her chest.

“Don’t ever leave me again,” she requests but is executed as a plea.

“I never left you, honey. I never have and I never will. I promise.”

Rey kisses your head as her hand continues to feed through your hair while the other gently caress your back, which happens to be your weakness just like Rey herself. It’s always been Rey when it comes to you. You adore her and you would do anything for her and you have never been happier to be with her than now and heretofore, despite what she says and thinks, you’ve never been prouder of her either.


End file.
